Fantasy Monster: Zen-cow

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Zen-cow

This cow seems to be an epitome of cow-ness, a condensed essence of cattleness. Its horns twist in fractal patterns that are still, yet seem to furl into themselves.

CR 12; XP 19,200
N Large Aberration

Init +10; Senses darkvision 60 ft., true seeing; Perception +33

Defense
AC 27, touch 19, flat-footed 25 (+4 deflection, +2 Dex, +4 insight, +8 natural, –1 size)
hp 171 (18d8+90); regeneration (force or ghost weapons)
Fort +11; Ref +12; Will +15

Defensive Abilities centered existence, multiphasic; Immune emotion effects

Offense
Speed 40 ft.

Melee gore +19 (4d6+10 plus multiphasic bash)

Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.

Special Attacks multiphasic bash (DC 21)

Statistics
Str 24, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 19, Wis 19, Cha 15
Base Atk +13; CMB +21; CMD 46

Feats Alertness, Combat Reflexes, Defensive Combat Training, Diehard, Endurance, Improved Initiative, Improved Vital Strike, Vital Strike, Shake It Off

Skills Diplomacy +24, Knowledge (arcana) +26, Knowledge (nature) +26, Knowledge (planes) +29, Knowledge (religion) +26, Perception +33, Perform (oratory) +24, Sense Motive +30

Languages Aklo, Sylvan; telepathy 100 ft.

SQ milk of enlightenment

Ecology
Environment any rural or planar
Organization solitary, pair, or school (3–7)
Treasure deep enlightenment

Special Abilities

Centered Existence (Ex) Zen-cows know where and when they are with precision unknown mortal (and many immortal) beings. They cannot be moved against their will, and any attempt to push, pull, reposition, drag, bull-rush, teleport, put them into temporal stasis (which from zen-cows' point of view is pushing them outside regular time flow) or otherwise forcibly move them causes the offending part to find themselves 1d6 × 5 feet away from their previous location in a random direction, 1d6 rounds later (use the same d6 roll for both). Zen-cow can stand on any surface large enough to fit them, disregarding the sturdiness of the surface, angle toward the ground, or even gravity.

Milk Of Enlightenment (Ex) Zen-cows can give a bluish-green milk, with a slight hint of fluorescence, whose multiphasic nature easily counters disturbances haunting sapient beings, grounding them safely into multiversal reality. Drinking a quart of this milk cures insanity and removes ability damage and ability drain caused by despair, madness, existential horror, exposure to alien geometries, planar distortions, existential breaches, and similar cosmic threats. It also cures lactose intolerance and indigestion, and removes parasites and diseases of gastrointestinal tract as well. Zen-cows only lactate during a intellectually-stimulating philosophical disputes, requiring a successful Knowledge or philosophically-related Profession check (DC 25 plus 5 for each previous successful check this day) for each quart milked. Once the test is failed, the zen-cow won't give any more milk this day.

Multiphasic (Ex) Zen-cows extend through many phases and dimensions of reality. A zen-cow suffers only half damage from any attacks except ghost touch weapons and force effects, gains +4 deflection bonus to AC, +4 insight bonus to AC, Reflex saving throws, initiative checks, and all skill checks, and benefit from a natural true seeing. A zen-cow is staggered for 1 round after being struck with dimension anchor or similar effect or when it enters a dimension lock or similar zone. Because they can easily perceive the latter, they prefer to avoid them if possible.

Multiphasic Bash (Ex) Any entity or object struck by zen-cow gore attack becomes pushed outside the multiversal existence for 1d4+1 rounds on a failed Will saving throw (DC 21). If the saving throw is a natural 1, the creature is banished to a random plane or dimension instead of reappearing where they were when struck. This is a teleportation effect. The saving throw DC is Charisma-based.

Zen-cows attained deep cosmic enlightenment after pondering the nature of the universe, meaning of existence, for unknowable period of time. They comprehend the laws of space and time and glimpsed things deep beyond the visible layers of the world.

Now, knowing the true nature of the universe, they simply want to chew their cud in peace.