Fantasy Monster: Talking Heads

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Talking Heads

A rather big head of elderly gnome-like entity floats in the air with a rather dismissive smirk, and a mercurial glint in the eyes.

CR 5; XP 1,600
N Small Fey

Init +5; Senses low-light vision; Perception +20

Defense
AC 18, touch 17, flat-footed 12 (+5 Dex, +1 dodge, +1 natural, +1 size)
hp 54 (12d6+12)
Fort +4; Ref +12; Will +8

Defensive Abilities evasion; DR 5/cold iron

Offense
Speed fly 40 ft. (perfect)

Melee headbutt +7 (2d4)

Special Attacks cutting remarks (30 ft., 5d6 sonic, DC 19 Will negates)

Statistics
Str 10, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 13, Cha 17
Base Atk +6; CMB +5; CMD 27

Feats Alertness, Defensive Combat Training, Dodge, Flyby Attack, Hover, Mobility

Skills Escape Artist +20, Fly +30, Knowledge (any) +7, Perception +20, Perform (comedy) +18, Perform (oratory) +18, Perform (sing) +18, Sense Motive +20

Languages tongues

SQ catch up, not-so-omniscient

Ecology
Environment any
Organization narrator, pair of commentators, chorus (3–12)
Treasure standard

Special Abilities

Catch Up (Su) Talking heads can catch up with their marks, teleporting nearby them as if using greater teleport with a full-round action. Talking heads have to narrate some sort of catching-up with the "protagonists" immediately after they do so, so they can't use this ability while silenced. The whole group of talking heads moves at once with this effect. This is a language-dependent teleportation effect.

Cutting Remarks (Su) Talking heads can blast others with particularly vicious comments, dealing 5d6 points of sonic damage to one or more creatures within 30 feet that fail a Will saving throw (DC 19). This is a language-dependent sonic effect. The saving throw DC is Charisma-based.

Not-So-Omniscient (Ex) Talking heads know a lot about everything, though their knowledge is mostly superficial and inconsistent, allowing them to make any Knowledge checks untrained, with bonus equal to half their HD (already listed in their skills).

Talking heads are entities that occasionally come from the Otherworld to follow interesting people and groups and provide a constant stream of narration, commentary, or even a song and a-cappella background music.

Talking heads can't really hold their tongue – they seem to be unable to keep silent for long, even threats and bribery works for depressingly short periods of time. They can follow their chosen marks for days or weeks before they find someone more interesting. They can be rid off by being extremally boring for an extended period of time, keeping them silenced for a few days, or killing them, though the last can draw wrath and vengeance of more powerful Fey and even stranger entities, for some reason – it's like some greater beings listened to the talking heads antics for entertainment...

Occasionally, patient adventurers can benefit from listening to talking heads' narration, learning about overlooked details and context they didn't know about. More often, talking heads disrupt attempts at using stealth, subterfuge, and disguise, sharing with everyone nearby about what actually happens.

Fantasy Monster: Faerie Contractors

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Faerie Contractors

A bunch of stocky figure resembling gnomes in matching work outfits. They have weird, dusty hair covered with caps, and many of them seem to keep a hand-made cigarette butt in the corner of mouth.

CR 3; XP 800
N Small Fey

Init +2; Senses low-light vision; Perception +10

Defense
AC 15, touch 13, flat-footed 13 (+2 armor, +2 Dex, +1 size)
hp 33 (6d6+12)
Fort +4; Ref +7; Will +6

Defensive Abilities half damage from falling, falling objects, and construction accidents; DR 5/cold iron

Weakness susceptible to sleep

Offense
Speed 20 ft.

Melee handy tool +6 or +4/+4/+4 (1d4+3, ×3)

Ranged thrown tool +6 (1d4+3, ×3)

Special Attacks frenzied flurry

Statistics
Str 14, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 13, Wis 13, Cha 11
Base Atk +3; CMB +4; CMD 16

Feats Endurance, Skill Focus (Craft [carpentry of stonemasonry]), Skill Focus (Profession [builder])

Skills Climb +11, Craft (carpenter or stonemasonry) +13, Knowledge (engineering) +7, Perception +10, Profession (builder) +10, Sleight Of Hand +11, Stealth +11

Languages Common, Sylvan

SQ unpredictable workload

Ecology
Environment rural, urban, underground
Organization crew (3–20)
Treasure standard

Special Abilities

Frenzied Flurry (Ex) Faerie contractors can lash with their tools at anyone interrupting their work with an amazing speed, making three attacks with –2 penalty each as a full attack.

Susceptible To Sleep Faerie contractors are prone to taking naps when the fancy hits them. Almost always at least one of contractors is dozing somewhere out of sight. Each faerie contractor counts as a single HD creature for purpose of being affected by sleep spell and they suffer –4 penalty to saving throws against sleep effects.

Unpredictable Workload (Su) The speed of construction done by crew of faerie contractors is extremally erratic, as if the very fabric of the world could not decide if it wants to help or hinder them – accidents happen (though they never hurt contractors) that slow things down while happy coincidences.

D20	Effect
1	The work continues forever – the very site of constuction becomes a breach of Fey Otherworld into the material world
2-5	The work is unnaturally extended, taking (7 minus the die result) times as much
6-15	The work takes the usual amount of time, beneficial and hindering incidents balancing each other
16-19	The work time is unnaturally short, being divided by (die result minus 14)
20	The work takes a single night – and the construction sight becomes a weak spot touched by the Otherworld

Faerie contractors are gnome-like fey that build things – usually because someone made a deal, either directly with their foreman, or indirectly with a greater faerie entity that holds authority over them, though occasionally they come from their own initiative to repay a perceived debt or are compelled by greater force (though they are extremally grumpy and often engaging in malicious compliance if coerced without adequate compensation).

They never do mining work, though, noting it would violate guild and union regulations.

While faerie contractors are competent when they focus on the work, they tend to be erratic and unpredictable, pedantic and over-literal, lazy and irreverent, somehow mixing and balancing chaotic and ordered aspects of their nature. They are also hard to discern between each other, with any distinguishing traits seemingly switching between individuals at moments notice (though it might be faerie contractors deliberately messing up with others).

Fantasy Monster: Words-In-Stone

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Words-In-Stone

A monolithic slab of polished black stone, engraved and enameled with golden glyphs.

CR 20; XP 307,200
LN Large Construct

Init +10; Senses darkvision 120 ft., domain of law 100 miles, low-light vision; Perception +27

Defense
AC 36, touch 26, flat-footed  (+6 deflection, +10 Dex, +1 dodge, +10 natural, –1 size)
hp 405 (30d10+240); fast healing 30
Fort +22; Ref +32; Will +27

Defensive Abilities enhanced durability 6, enhanced protection 6, hardness 20; Immune construct traits

Offense
Speed fly 60 ft. (perfect); overland flight

Space 10 ft.; Reach 60 ft.

Special Attacks punishing arcs (20d10, Will DC 27 negates)

Statistics
Str 30, Dex 30, Con —, Int 11, Wis 21, Cha 11
Base Atk +30; CMB +41; CMD 61 (can't be tripped)

Feats Ability Focus (punishing arcs), Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Flyby Attack, Hover, Improved Initiative, Lightning Stance, Mobility, Run, Skill Focus (Perception), Skill Focus (Sense Motive), Toughness, Wind Stance

Skills Fly +16, Perception +45, Sense Motive +45

Language understands all languages; telepathy 100 ft.

Ecology
Environment any
Organization solitary
Treasure standard (rare metals and magical inks)

Special Abilities

Domain Of Law (Su) Each words-in-stone bears a commandment, a (presumably) divine instructions, a course of action, law, proscription, or taboo, that the words-in-stone are bound to enforce. Whenever anyone, willingly or accidentally, knowingly or not, violates the commandment within 100 miles, words-in-stone become aware of it and starts pursuing the offender. While the entity has a general idea of location and identity of the perpetrator, it can be deceived with enough effort and loses track and memory of the perpetrator of violation if the perpetrator manages to move beyond the hundred miles range.

Judgement Of Law (Su) Any living sapient creature reduced to 0 hit points by words-in-stone's punishing arcs enters a timeless mindscape, where a phantom figure informs of the commandment borne by the particular words-in-stone, and demands that creature submitted itself to the words and followed them strictly – there is subjective time for the creature to ask details and clarifications about the commandment, though the creature can't negotiate its way out. If the creature agrees to submit, it wakes up with 1 hit point, with a permanent, exceptionally potent (–6 penalty to ability scores per infraction, with no limit on total penalty accumulated) geas to obey the commandment and permanent vulnerability (+50% damage) to the punishing arcs of that words-in-stone. If the creature defies the words, it immediately petrifies into a stone statue. Only freedom, miracle, or wish (or equivalent magic) can free the petrified victim, and only miracle, wish or destruction of the words-in-stone can remove the geas.

Overland Flight (Ex) Out of combat, words-in-stone can maintain flight speed of 30 miles per hour.

Punishing Arcs (Su) Words-in-stone unleashes arcs of crackling power that can target one creature within the 60-ft. reach as a standard action, or as an attack of opportunity, or any number of targets within reach as a full attack. Targeted creatures suffer 20d10 points of damage from (presumably) divine power on a failed Will saving throw (DC 27). The saving throw DC is Constitution-based.

Words-in-stone are embodiment of (presumably) divine commandments, each one guarding one commandment and enforcing it mercilessly. It is debatable if the commandment carved into words-in-stone are truly divine, though, for many of them seem rather weird, overcomplicated, whimsical, contradictory, or even outright incomprehensible to mortal minds, with little to no rational explanation for them.

Fantasy Monster: Polyscorpion

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Polyscorpion

It has disk-like, chitinous body moving on eight segmented legs, with four claws in the front and three raised tails ending in stingers.

CR 12; XP 19,200
N Huge Vermin

Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., tremorsense 60 ft.; Perception +23

Defense
AC 27, touch 11, flat-footed 24 (+3 Dex, +16 natural, –2 size)
hp 156 (24d8+48)
Fort +16; Ref +11; Will +11

Offense
Speed 30 ft.; burrow 30 ft.; sidestep

Melee 4 claws +19 (1d8+3) and 3 stingers +19 (1d8+3 plus polyscorpion poison)

Space 15 ft.; Reach 5 ft. (15 ft. with stingers)

Special Attacks poison (DC 24)

Statistics
Str 16, Dex 16, Con 14, Int –, Wis 17, Cha 2
Base Atk +18; CMB +23; CMD 42 (54 vs. trip)

Feats Combat Reflexes^B, Defensive Combat Training^B

Skills Perception +23, Stealth +11; Racial Modifiers +20 Perception, +20 Stealth

Ecology
Environment warm or temperate deserts, forests, plains or underground
Organization solitary
Treasure incidental

Special Abilities

Polyscorpion Poison (Ex) Sting–injury; save Fort 24, frequency 1/round for 3 rounds, effect 1d4 Str, cure 2 consecutive saves.

Sidestep (Ex) A polyscorpion might not be as fast as giant scorpions but it is surprisingly agile, allowing it to move up to 10 feet ignoring difficult terrain when it takes a 5-ft. step.

Polyscorpions seem to be a bigger and more monstrous kin to regular giant scorpions, looking as if someone fused two or three scorpions together, or maybe the deity that created them couldn't decide between a spider and a scorpion.

Unlike true scorpions, they don't grab their prey, relying on incapacitating venom of as many stings as they can deliver as quickly as possible instead.

Fantasy Monster: Blood Red Riding Hood

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Blood Red Riding Hood

A fair maid wrapped in a red hooded cloak, with intense gaze and hungry smile.

CR 11; XP 12,800
CE Medium Fey

Init +11; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +32

Defense
AC 25, touch 23, flat-footed 17 (+5 deflection, +7 Dex, +1 dodge, +2 natural)
hp 156 (24d6+72); regeneration 10 (cold iron)
Fort +10; Ref +19; Will +15

DR 10/cold iron; Immune lycanthropy, polymorph effects

Offense
Speed 30 ft.

Melee 4 spectral jaws +19 (3d6 force)

Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft. (30 ft. spectral jaws)

Special Attacks charm wolves (DC 22), inspire wolves

Statistics
Str 14, Dex 24, Con 16, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 19
Base Atk +12; CMB +14; CMD 43

Feats Acrobatic Step, Alertness, Combat Reflexes, Defensive Combat Training, Dirty Fighting, Dodge, Improved Initiative, Nimble Moves, Outflank, Shake It Off, Toughness, Weapon Finesse

Skills Bluff +31, Disguise +31, Knowledge (local) +29, Knowledge (nature) +29, Perception +32, Sense Motive +32, Stealth +34, Survival +28

Languages Common, Sylvan; speak with animals (wolves and wolf-like beings only)

SQ gift of wolf, wolf-riding

Ecology
Environment forest, hills
Organization solitary, accompanied by wolves, wolf-like monster, and werewolves
Treasure standard

Special Abilities

Charm Wolves (Sp) Blood Red Riding Hood can sway the hearts of natural and supernatural wolves alike, including werewolves, wolf-like fey, magical beasts, monstrous humanoids, outsiders, and even other creatures polymorphed into wolves (though the latter only for as long as the polymorph effect lasts). This works like charm monster but affects any number of suitable targets within the line of sight at once and has permanent duration. Blood Red Riding Hood can sway up to ten times her HD of mundane wolves (including dire wolves), but is limited to having up to twice her HD of werewolves and other wolf-like monsters, and she can't charm creatures with HD higher than half her HD. The saving throw DC is Charisma-based.

Gift Of Wolf (Su) Blood Red Riding Hood can bestow lycanthropy on a willing humanoid in an act of intimacy during the full moon.

Inspire Wolves (Su) Wolves and wolf-like beings are energized and agitated in her presence, gaining +2 morale bonus to attack rolls, damage rolls, saving throws, and skill checks while they are within 60 ft. Creatures affected by her charm wolves ability gain +4 morale bonus, regeneration 5 (cold iron), and share her teamwork feats (normally Outflank and Shake It Off) regardless of their distance from her. Mundane wolves affected by this ability show increased ability to understand human behavior and human language, at least on par with the best trained dogs.

Spectral Jaws (Su) Blood Red Riding Hood might seem harmless, but in combat she can conjure spectral jaws that tear her enemies apart. She can make a single spectral jaw attack as an attack action, up to four spectral jaws as a full attack action, and she can conjure them to make attacks of opportunity within a whopping reach of 30 feet. Spectral jaws always strike from her direction, but they can easily flank opponents with any wolves fighting on Blood Red Riding Hood behalf. Attacking with spectral jaws leaves blood stains on her fingers, which she happily licks off. Spectral jaws are force effect but they also count as cold iron and silver against regeneration and vulnerabilities.

Wolf-Riding (Ex) Blood Red Riding Hood can ride any of her charmed wolves or wolf-like beings as long as they are Medium or larger, always succeeding required Ride checks.

Blood Red Riding Hood might be born out of human fears of wilds and wolves in particular, a personification of ferocity and savagery ascribed to them by ignorant mortals.

She enjoys pain and fear, seeking to turn wolves, werewolves, and other wolf-like beings into cruel and cunning monsters that will stalk and hunt civilized being, keeping them afraid of wilderness.

She occasionally falls for mortals though, particularly hardened survivors, hunters and shepherds, but also brooding loners, cast-offs, and those with spark of resentment or anger in their hearths, justified or not. She might become a sultry seductress, an innocent maid, a dominating mistress, a submissive waif—she is ready to switch her role to fit what her lovers need to be pulled deeper and deeper into cruel savagery and darkness of their hearts. In her mind, she is freeing them from chains of humanity and domestication by civilization.

Fantasy Monster: Bother-Goose

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Bother-goose

A thick goose, with a serrated beak, and patches of scales visible here and there through the feathers.

CR 4; XP 1,200
N Medium Magical Beast

Init +9; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +10

Aura screeching (60 ft.)

Defense
AC 17, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+5 Dex, +2 natural)
hp 39 (6d10+6)
Fort +6; Ref +10; Will +3

Offense
Speed 30 ft., swim 15 ft.; wing leaps

Melee beak +8 (1d6+2) and 2 wing slaps +8 (1d6+2)

Special Attacks wing pounce

Statistics
Str 14, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 13
Base Atk +6; CMB +8; CMD 23

Feats Combat Reflexes, Disruptive^B, Improved Initiative, Run

Skills Acrobatics +5, Perception +10, Swim +10

Ecology
Environment urban, rural
Organization solitary, pair, or a gaggle (5—12)
Treasure standard

Special Abilities

Screeching (Ex) When agitated or engaged in violence (which is often), bother-geese produce a constant screeching, honking noise that bestows –2 penalty to concentration checks and skill checks that require focus and patience made within 60 feet of a conscious bother-geese. This penalty increases to –4 if there are at least 4 bother-geese present, and –6 if there are nine or more. The screeching gets modulated in particularly annoying way when there are invisible creatures present or magic is used within 60 feet. All bother-geese gain Disruptive as a bonus feat.

Wing Leaps (Ex) While bother-geese are (thankfully) incapable of actual flight, they can still use their wings to help them move around – a bother-goose can intermix short, 10-ft. jumps into their movement, charging, or running, allowing them to clear small patches of difficult terrain or low obstacles with ease. They can also glide when jumping from high, moving up to 15 feet horizontally per 5 feet of fall, falling 20 feet per round, without harm. Bother-geese can always take 10 on Acrobatics check.

Wing Pounce (Ex) Bother-geese can jump while charging, either combining multiple short, 10-ft. leaps intermixed with a minimum 10 ft. of movement between leaps, or make a single large leap at any point of the movement. A charging bother-goose can make two wing slap attacks at the end of charge against its target.

Bother-geese were originally breed as watch-beasts and guardians, capable of detecting intruders and alerting everyone. It might went too well, though. While bother-geese are perfectly capable of rousing the slowest and most drunk soldiers from stupor, they are easily agitated and alarmed by slightest disturbances, unexpected movement, unknown guests, or even misplaced everyday objects. They are also quite aggressive and prone to violence against anyone they don't know well, dislike, or who did something out of ordinary. Even a wrong piece of clothing or known voice distorted by a stuffed nose can trigger their incessant clamor.

A number of flocks apparently run feral, though they might have been simply abandoned by overwhelmed owners.

Fantasy Monster: Boatswine

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Boatswine

A thick-boned, big bellied, boar-headed sailor.

CR 8; XP 4,800
LE Medium Fey

Init +1; Senses low-light vision, scent, weather sense; Perception +22

Aura customs of the sea (whole ship)

Defense
AC 21, touch 11, flat-footed 20 (+2 armor, +1 Dex, +8 natural)
hp 99 (18d6+36); regeneration 10 (cold iron)
Fort +8; Ref +12; Will +12

DR 10/cold iron; Immune nausea, sickness, any foodborne afflictions

Offense
Speed 30 ft., climb 15 ft., swim 15 ft.; sea legs

Melee cleaver +15/+10 (1d6+5, ×3) or two cleavers +13/+8 (1d6+5, ×3)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 18th, concentration +20)

At Will–dancing lights, mending, purify food and water

Statistics
Str 20, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 15
Base Atk +9; CMB +14; CMD 34

Feats Blind-Fighting, Defensive Combat Training, Diehard, Double Slice, Endurance, Improved Initiative, Improved Two-Weapon Fighting, Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Focus (cleaver)

Skills Bluff +23, Climb +13, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (geography) +23, Knowledge (nature) +23, Knowledge (religion) +20, Perception +22, Profession (cook) +19, Profession (sailor) +19, Swim +13

SQ change shape (porpoise; beast shape II)

Ecology
Environment ships, ports
Organization solitary, pair, or crew (5—20)
Treasure standard

Special Abilities

Customs Of The Sea (Su) Any vessel on which a boatswine serves is covered in a magical aura that enforces marine taboos and superstitions. Whenever anyone breaks one of them, all the boatswines present feel a stab of pain, and the whole ship and its crew pays the price, getting a cumulative –1 penalty to all skill checks made to operate the vessel and to the ship's saving throws. Additionally, each day there is a 1% chance per –1 accumulated that the ship suffers from some kind of marine misfortune. The penalty can be prevented from accumulating by throwing the offender aboard as quickly as possible. The whole accumulated penalty can be removed by the boatswine performing cleansing rites, which unfortunately require a feast made from at least one of the crew, passengers, or stowaways. This is a curse effect that can be reset with (limited) wish or break enchantment (DC 28).

Sea Legs (Ex) A boatswine easily moves across unsteady and slick decks, without need for 

Acrobatics checks to avoid slipping and falling.

Weather Sense (Ex) A boatswine can sense incoming changes of weather over sea, ocean, large lakes, and coasts, up to 24 hours ahead, and general weather patterns for up to seven days ahead. They also always know when weather change is caused by supernatural means.

Boatswines are piggish fey that push their way onto sailing ships and similar vessels with skill, cunning, and occasional threats, and worm they way into positions of relative power: ship's cooks, navigators, or bosuns, or a combination thereof, though never seeking the role of ship's captain.

While their very presence turns sailors' superstitions into a real threat to the ship, they are also highly skilled sailors, tough combatants, and superb cooks – if definitely too eager to turn insolent sailors, problematic passengers, and stowaways they find into the next batch of stew. If the food supply grows really low, but the crew showed the proper respect to the boatswine and their advice, and reverence to the customs, the boatswines can even resort to cooking pieces of their own flesh, which regrows quickly enough, to keep the crew alive for a time.

Occasionally, multiple boatswines might act together as petty officers on otherworldly vessels, under fey lordlings playing sea captains.