Fantasy NPC: Krumble The Jester

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Krumble The Jester

A goblin wearing a chalky-white make up and a dashing attire made of colorful pieces of cloth sewn together.

CR 1; 400 XP

CN Small Outsider (goblinoid, native)

Init +5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent; Perception +7

Defense
AC 12, touch 12, flat-footed 11 (+1 Dex, +1 size)
hp 16 (3d10); regeneration 1 (epic, mythic spells)
Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +4

Defensive Abilities shrug off; Immune death

Offense
Speed 30 ft.

Melee slapstick +3 (1d4 plus 1d6 nonlethal)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 3rd, concentration +5)

At Will—dancing lights, ghost sound, mage hand, prestidigitation

Statistics
Str 8, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 11, Wis 13, Cha 15
Base Atk +3; CMB +1; CMD 12
Feats Improved Initiative, Nimble Moves

Skills Bluff +8, Disable Device +7, Handle Animals –8, Perception +7, Perform (comedy) +8, Perform (sing) –8, Sense Motive +8, Sleight Of Hand +7, Stealth +5; Racial Modifiers –10 Handle Animal, –10 Perform (sing)
Language Common, Goblin

SQ goblin-blooded

Goblin-Blooded (Ex) Krumble The Jester is considered both an Outsider (native) and a Humanoid (goblinoid) for the purpose of all effects and abilities.

Shrug Off (Ex) All afflictions, conditions, spells, and other harmful effects affect Krumble The Jester, end after 1d4 rounds. Except when it is funny for them to stay on. Krumble's regeneration regrows any missing body parts within 1d6 hours.

Slapstick (Su) Krumble The Jester always seem to have their fancy jester's scepter at hand, even when it was taken away and secured safely elsewhere. Except when it is funny for it to not being there. The slapstick acts as a +1 merciful club.

Krumble The Jester is a courtly goblin jester of rather short stature and undetermined gender. Crude, funny, stubborn, mouthy, clumsy, irreverent, and obnoxious—though occasionally insightful. They also seem to survive whatever calamity happens to them, be it a bomb-juggling accident, angry courtier skewering them with a sword, being eaten by a poorly trained bear, falling (or being thrown) from a castle wall, you name it... 

Krumble The Jester claims to be a deity of slapstick comedy. Often following with a slap of their stick on whoever doubts them, even if it might end with violent repercussions. Their pretenses of divinity haven't been confirmed by other deities... Neither were they denied, though. A few powerful entities that might be in the know, responded with laughter when asked.

Fantasy NPC: Grandmother Remembrance

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Grandmother Remembrance

An ancient looking woman wrapped in multiple thick blankets.

CR 5; 1,600 XP

N Medium Outsider (native)

Init +0; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +21

Defense
AC 18, touch 14, flat-footed 18 (+4 armor, +4 deflection)
hp 55 (10d10)
Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +12

Defensive Abilities undying; DR 10/epic; Immune death, disease, harmful divine magic

Offense
Speed 15 ft.

Melee inflict moderate wounds +10 touch (2d8+10)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 10th, concentration +13)

Constant—comprehend languages, resistance

At Will—detect poison, inflict moderate wounds (DC 15), mass inflict light wounds (10 targets, 1d8+5, DC 16), spark

Statistics
Str 10, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 27, Wis 19, Cha 13
Base Atk +10; CMB +10; CMD 24
Feats Ability Focus (inflict moderate wounds), Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Skill Focus (Heal)

Skills Heal +23, Knowledge (all) +26, Perception +21, Perform (storytelling) +14, Profession (any) +9, Sense Motive +21
Language ancient speech of a long dead tribe; comprehend languages, can't read or write

SQ elder's advice, old wisdom

Elder's Advice (Ex) Following advice offered by Grandmother Remembrance grants +1d6 bonus to a single ability check, skill check, or a saving throw regarding a specific task, or to caster level of a single spell—her wisdom might be unmatched but a lot of what she knew was invalidated by merciless progress of time. Grandmother Remembrance can offer advice on up to 1 + the recipient's Intelligence bonus topics and tasks, though she must really like the recipient to dedicate so much of her time to them.

Old Wisdom (Ex) Grandmother Remembrance treats all Knowledges as class skills, can make any Knowledge or Profession checks untrained, and adds half her Hit Dice as a bonus to all Knowledge and Profession checks. She is completely incapable of reading or writing, though, even through magical means.

Undying (Su) Grandmother Remembrance is ancient and intends to live even longer. She heals from any wounds and ills, though it might take a season or two. Destroying her body might keep her down for a few years before she shows herself again, or maybe she just avoids places where she was supposedly destroyed. She might be destroyed forever if she was dealt a killing blow with a weapon inscribed with her original name... Except it was forgotten ages ago, maybe even by Grandmother herself.

Notable Gear thick blankets (+4 armor bonus, constant endure elements)

Grandmother Remembrance is terribly old. Older than dirt, say some. Older than death say others. Maybe as old as the land her people lived on. Once, she was a patron goddess of learning, wise elders, and passing on their knowledge to new generations. It was long-long ago, though, before reason killed wisdom, before spoken word was chained and trapped within glyphs and letters. Her tribe, her original worshippers are long gone but she still lingers at the outskirts of civilization, occasionally having her home absorbed by cities, only for them to crumble and fall, and new tribes come and live by her and listen to her teachings.

She is a rude and crude ancient crone now, oscillating between grumpy contempt toward modernity, and rather bawdy and ribald protectiveness of youth. She usually stays in a small tent, full of smoke and incense, occasionally tended to by descendants of one of many tribes she lived with.

Fantasy NPC: Zab'bah'rah, The Trinket Merchant

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Zab'bah'rah, The Trinket Merchant

An entity with three vulture heads wearing thick robes made of purple and burgundy velvet. Each of its necks is adorned with a heavy golden chain on their neck and their taloned fingers bear multiple jeweled rings.

CR 10; 9,600 XP

NE Medium Outsider (evil, extraplanar)

Init +4; Senses darkvision 120 ft., arcane sight 120 ft., see invisible 120 ft.; Perception +23

Defense
AC 24, touch 17, flat-footed 20 (+3 armor, +3 deflection, +4 Dex, +4 natural)
hp 126 (12d10+60)
Fort +15, Ref +11, Will +15; +3 resistance bonus

Defensive Abilities professional nature; DR 10/good; Resist acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, fire 20; SR 21

Offense
Speed 30 ft., fly 50 ft. (average)

Melee 2 claws +16 (1d6+4), 3 bites +16 (1d6+4)

Special Attacks command magic items

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 12th or 20th in the emporium, concentration +17 or +25)

Constant—arcane sight, see invisibility, unseen servant (two servants active at a time)

At Will—analyze dweomer, banishment (DC 24, only within the emporium), break enchantment, greater dispel magic, legend and lore, make whole, prestidigitation, word of recall (self with 50 lbs of gear, nearest entrance to the emporium)

Statistics
Str 18, Dex 18, Con 18, Int 17, Wis 19, Cha 21
Base Atk +12; CMB +16; CMD 30
Feats Ability Focus (banishment), Alertness, Combat Casting, Patron Of The Vile, Skill Focus (Use Magic Device), Toughness

Skills Bluff +20, Diplomacy +20, Fly +19, Knowledge (arcana) +18, Knowledge (planes) +18, Perception +23, Sense Motive +23, Spellcraft +18, Use Magic Device +26
Language Abyssal, Celestial, Common, Draconic, Infernal; telepathy 100 ft.

SQ personal emporium

Command Magic Items (Su) Zab'bah'rah can apply their Use Magic Device skill on a magic items within their line of sight as a swift action.

Personal Emporium (Su) Zab'bah'rah emporium is a pocket plane that is composed only of interior of a sizeable shop, with an entrance that contains a number of (movable) portals, a large main hall, numerous smaller rooms, and a few vaults. It might also include Zab'bah'rah personal chambers, though no one knows for sure. The emporium is dimly lit, and occasionally staffed by a number of serviles. The vaults containing more valuable items are warded by dangerous traps, potent spells, and some of the rooms and corridors hold monsters instead of treasures.

Professional Nature (Su) Zab'bah'rah is an epitome of mercantile guile to the point that even when conjured, they can't be compelled to perform any services other than to offer (more or less) equitable trade or examination of magical items. Neither can magical charms and compulsions force Zab'bah'rah to give away their wares without adequate compensation.

Notable Gear Zab'bah'rah's robes (+4 armor, +3 deflection bonus to AC, +3 resistance bonus to saves), potions, scrolls, wands, staves, and other magic item scattered across the emporium as needed, though looting them all is a venture comparable to a full dungeon delve, with similar challenges

Zab'bah'rah is a trader of magical trinkets of various sorts, the more exotic and unique, the better. While they do keep some bland and boring potions and wands ("squak, why is every customer asking about healing wands?!"), they prefer the interesting and weird. They accept payment in souls for smaller purchases, though without enthusiasm—apparently they have enough supply to create enough serviles as needed (thanks to being an evil outsider with Patron Of The Vile feat) for centuries, and they are not particularly fond of trading the excess to other fiends.

Zab'bah'rah is a moderately honest merchant—that is, for a cunning fiend. While they don't resort to blatant lies, they are prone to omitting details that in their opinion could reduce chance of the sale unless they are particularly proud or enamored of certain features of their wares. What they will proudly advertise and what quirks they keep for themselves might be at odds with expectations of mortal customers, though ("this sword will work perfectly fine, just feed it a peasant or two a month").

Entrances to Zab'bah'rah's emporium appear in various places across the planes, occasionally obvious—such as in a magic item shop front in a city, within a wagon advertising as a magic shop, and sometimes in much more surprising places, such as a door in the middle of monster-infested dungeon. Zab'bah'rah seems to be able to bar and move the gates leading to the emporium at will, though they can't prevent anyone from leaving the emporium—it's just that escaping the emporium with stolen goods might leave the thieves in an unexpected (and possibly hostile, but not immediately deadly) spot across the planes, though never extremally exotic.

Oh, and a "we are saving the multiverse from utter destruction, you should help us by giving us this plot relevant magic item for free!" ploy? Nu-uh. Zab'bah'rah heard it hundreds of time. The multiverse worked fine without suspicious discounts each time. You will be paying for the wares.

Fantasy Monster: Dire Shrimp

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Dire Shrimp

A tiny crustacean with folded frontal claws.

CR 2; XP 600
N Tiny Vermin (aquatic)

Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., tremorsense 60 ft., scent; Perception +10

Defense
AC 16, touch 14, flat-footed 14 (+2 Dex, +2 natural, +2 size)
hp 19 (3d8+6)
Fort +5; Ref +5; Will +3
Defensive Abilities evasion; DR 2/bludgeoning; Immune mind-affecting effects

Offense
Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.

Melee claws +4 (1d4 plus 2d6 when using Lunge)

Ranged spit sand +6 (1d4 and dazzle for 1d4 rounds)

Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft. (5 ft. with Lunge)

Special Attacks lunging strike

Statistics
Str 10, Dex 14, Con 14, Int —, Wis 15, Cha 3
Base Atk +2; CMB +2; CMD 12 (16 vs. trip)

Feats Lunge^B

Skills Acrobatics +10, Perception +10, Stealth +18, Swim +8; Racial Modifiers +8 Acrobatics, +8 Perception, +8 Stealth

SQ amphibious, skittering

Ecology
Environment aquatic
Organization solitary, pair, swarm (3—8)
Treasure incidental

Special Abilities

Lunging Strike (Ex) A dire shrimp gains Lunge as a bonus feat. When it uses Lunge feat, it inflicts additional 2d6 points of damage due to its lightning speed.

Skittering (Ex) A dire shrimp gains +4 racial bonus to initiative checks and a +2 racial bonus to Reflex saving throws.

Spit Sand (Ex) A dire shrimp can spit sand with great strength at creatures within 30 feet as a standard action. On a successful ranged attack, the target suffers 1d4 bludgeoning and piercing damage and becomes dazzled for 1d4 rounds.

These semi-aquatic crustaceans stalk the shores of waterways and shallow waters. While they are primarily scavengers, they occasionally hunt small animals. A larger groups are not above attacking anything that moves nearing their nesting places.

It is uncertain how close they are related to actual shrimps, but they are definitely edible. If you don't mind eating things that feed on refuse and rotten food, which might or might not grew fat on drowned sailors. Some decadent civilizations, dark cults, and aquatic entities deliberately fatten them on dead or dying humanoids considering them particularly delicious.

A dire shrimp can be selected as a familiar (requires Improved Familiar feat and 5th caster level).

Fantasy Monster: Planetnik

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Planetnik

A tall old man with pale blue skin and white hair that resemble clouds.

CR 6; XP 2,400
N Medium Fey

Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, wind seer; Perception +17

Defense
AC 19, touch 14, flat-footed 15 (+4 armor, +4 Dex, +1 natural)
hp 71 (13d6+24)
Fort +6; Ref +12; Will +9
DR 10/cold iron; Immune non-magical weather effects

Offense
Speed 40 ft., swim 40 ft.; air walk

Melee 2 slams +10 (1d6+4 plus 1d6 cold)

Special Attacks call hail and lightning (3d6, DC 16 Reflex negates)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 12th, concentration +13)

Constant—air walk, call lightning, endure elements, mage armor

At Will—control weather (as druid)

Statistics
Str 18, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 13, Wis 13, Cha 13
Base Atk +6; CMB +10; CMD 30

Feats Ability Focus (call lightning), Defensive Combat Training, Endurance, Improved Initiative, Nimble Moves, Run, Self-Sufficient

Skills Acrobatics +20, Heal +18, Knowledge (geography) +17, Knowledge (local) +17, Knowledge (nature) +17, Perception +17, Survival +18, Swim +10

Languages Aquan, Auran, Common, Sylvan

SQ cloud dweller, water breathing

Ecology
Environment temperate forests, hills, mountains
Organization solitary
Treasure standard

Special Abilities

Call Hail And Lightning (Sp) A planetnik's innate call lightning spell-like ability doesn't have a limited number of lightning strikes. A planetnik can call a single lightning as a standard action or two lightnings against two different targets as a full-round action. Instead of calling lightning strikes, a planetnik can choose to produce crushing hailstones, changing the damage type to cold and bludgeoning.

Cloud Dweller (Su) A planetnik can treat clouds as a solid ground, walking on it, lying prone, and even sleeping. When a planetnik uses his control weather ability to move the cloud he is standing on, he can travel at a speed of 1 mile per minute as long as he concentrates on directing the cloud. Sleeping for 8 hours on a cloud fully heals planetnik's hit point and ability damage.

Wind Seer (Su) A planetnik senses are never impeded by mist, wind, or any other weather effects. He can accurately predict weather for the next seven days, and sense any magical alterations to weather within 3 mile range.

Planetniks (also known as cloudmen, weathermen, or pogodniks) are caretakers of clouds and rains, and the cyclic weather. While they are often mildly indifferent to mortal matters, they do run a full gamut of alignments and attitudes, from benign, to mischievous, to callous disregard for mortal suffering. Their good will can sometimes be bargained for—with certain dishes and clothing, though no more than once per season.They are occasionally at odds with fey dedicated to a single season, particularly those who seek to stop the cycle of seasons and freeze the world in the chains of eternal winter.

Very rarely, an enraged or mad planetnik might turn the weather against the mortals and try to disrupt the cycle of seasons himself, though never without a deeper (though not necessarily rational) reason.

Many planetniks spent a lot of their time fishing and some even live in underwater caves.

Some planetniks are very short instead of being exceptionally tall, being Small creatures with Init +9, AC 20 (+4 armor, +5 Dex, +1 size), Ref +13, CMB +8, CMD 29, Str 16, Dex 20, and 2 slams +10 (1d4+3 plus 1d6 cold).